I woke up this morning from a strange dream feeling fearful. It was a very paralyzingly feeling, I had plans to get many things done, but I just could not. All I wanted was to run away from this unknown fear.
Could I run away from it? No, it kept me paralyzed until I decided to face it. I chose to sit with it, feel it and allow it to diminish.
Well, it took me a good one hour to get out of it.
Being able to process my fear gave me the feeling of accomplishment. It made me feel empowered knowing I can manage my emotions. There was a time when I would wallow in my negative emotions for several weeks without knowing how to pivot.
Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
When fear takes over it can be the most overpowering and destructive force in our lives contributing to our mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Avoiding our fears only prevents us from moving forward. Fear causes us to notice and remember negative events, reinforcing our sense that the world is a scary place. We tend to question the purpose and meaning of our life.
We can work to change that by deliberately noticing what is positive—the joy we feel when we see someone we love, the pleasure of a sunny day, the beauty in nature, the fun of an outing, and the humour in a situation.
“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.” --- Thich Nhat Hanh
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”— Nelson Mandela.
Fear can come in many different forms such as:
Fear of Success: It isn’t truly about the success but the consequences it may bring. The increase in responsibilities, opening to criticism, and social exclusion. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of losing if I succeed? Once you identify your fear and understand why you held onto it, then you can forgive yourself and move forward.
Fear of Rejection: This is the fear of not being accepted by the people around you. It could be you fear people not accepting your appearance, behavior, the way you speak, or even your presence. For every rejection you experience, there is a redirection to a different opportunity yet unknown to you. Whenever you face rejection, remind yourself, ‘I am not rejected, I am redirected to something greater.’ Hence refuse to let rejection define you.
Fear of Change: It is the fear of moving out of your comfort zone. It stops you from taking any action at all. This is one of the reasons why so many people continue to stay in toxic relationships or workplaces.
Fear of Disapproval by Others: It comes from the tendency of people-pleasing and not having enough confidence in your own self. We all have differences of opinions and the opinions of others should not be valued when it causes you to feel down.
Fear of the Unknown: Our fear of the unknown is just a whole pile of self-limiting beliefs based on what we think may happen and not on our reality. It is not unusual for you to feel fear when you are stepping out into the unknown. Our brain is hardwired to prefer negative consequences to uncertain outcomes. Our brain does not like us stepping out into the unknown or living in a world of change.
Fear of being Judged: In some, the apprehension of being judged and laughed at or dismissed is great enough to cause symptoms of palpitation, breathlessness, sweating, stomach cramps, and weakening legs. This is social anxiety or social phobia. Meditation, yoga, and relaxation techniques can help. Walking away from social anxiety may seem like an easier option, but overcoming has bigger payoffs, emotionally, socially, and professionally.
Fear of Failure: Failures are part of any entrepreneurship. We all fear failure, that is human nature. To learn from your failures and move forward ask yourself three important questions:
o What have I learned from this failure?
o What are the three positive things about this experience?
o How have I grown personally or professionally through this experience?
Fear of Past Haunting: We humans tend to recreate our past and dwell upon it. The story of our past mistakes or negative experiences forbids us to grow. If we don’t change our story, we keep on repeating it. The only way out is to learn to let go and live in the present.
Fear of Love: Love is one of the most amazing parts of our life, but it can also be frightening for some. Any trauma, a past rejection, or hurt in a past relationship can bring in fear of love and refrain from being emotionally connected with someone. Understanding your fear and taking appropriate measures to resolve it can help.
Fear of People: It is a social phobia, and the fear is literally of other people, regardless of the situation in which they are encountered. You will likely experience a strong fight or flight response, in which you feel an overwhelming need to get away. Additionally, you might worry that others are judging you for everything from your style of dress to your choice of words. Nonetheless, with persistence and the right approach, it is possible to overcome even the most extreme fear of people. Be patient and kind to yourself but keep pushing through.
Identify your fear and deal with it. Being aware and mindful of your fear is the first step. Life is beautiful if we decide to stay on the positive side of the spectrum. You are more powerful than you can imagine. Your road to success lies in managing your emotions and moving forward.
Allow me to walk you through a beautiful peace process to calm your nerves and curb your fears.
Settle yourself in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out from your mouth. Repeat breathing with your eyes closed and relax your muscles. Feel centered.
Now slowly scan through your body from head to toe, noticing any discomfort or fear, or turbulence caused due to whatever reason. Be utterly focused on the physical sensations within your body. Fear can manifest itself physically in any part of your body - stomach, throat, knees, heart, or head. We all store emotions in different places in our bodies. It may seem that fear may reside permanently within you, but it will go away with practice and a positive mindset.
When you locate the fear within your body, it may feel very intense. Put your attention on it staying fully present to the physical sensation of the feeling in an unconditionally accepting way. Accept it is there. It may seem it is permanent but trust me, it will go away. If possible, send it love.
Inside the feeling in your body, there’s an area of greatest intensity. As you give attention to the feeling, it may shift in some way. It might get more intense, or less intense. It might move to different parts of your body. Stay with it and let it run its course.
After the feeling has run its course, you’ll be left with a neutral feeling. That’s peace.
To ensure that you’ve cleared this up completely, think about the situation, problem, or fear that was bothering you. Notice if you feel anything other than peace, love, or joy. If there’s anything that isn’t peaceful yet, repeat this process over again.
The Peace Process is a very powerful and valuable way to transform fear into peace.
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